A new...something or other.

So, it has been since my last birthday since I sat and wrote and since it is the half-way point, and I am at home sick today and I have this new blog, I figured, you know, why the hell not?

Let me see, well the holidays were wonderful, and it is always nice to get home and see mi familia. My parents went above and beyond this year on the gift and got me a sassy new smart phone. Verizon being the "Great Satan" if "The-Great-Satan-had-a-Developmental-Delay-and- Bad-Coke-Habit", kindly refused to hook the phone up since I had not bought it from them. I am now with AT&T.

Along with the smart phone came my return to Twitter. Now I am all addicted to the lives of people I have vaguely met, and the comedy that ensues.

OMG Steve got us a new television. And it is pretty damned sweet. So that and the Netflix right to my PS3 means I am uber bourgeois and very well entertained.

I am now working for the department of corrections, and I love my job.

Now for the stuff that you all really came here for:

Settle on in chil'ren it is stoh-rey time with Mr. Wednesday

The Trip Home. . .

Air travel in this country is second only to subways for forcing people into awkward social relationships. Huddled bodies crammed in a tiny space, the spectre of Death looming just on the edge of the laws of physics. Needless to say it is not exactly the calm method of travel, especially for someone who's South Node was in transit at birth (astrology bitches, what?!?). So there I am squeezed in next to the window on my way to Chicago. I was just minding my own working on my French when I notice a commotion coming from next to me.

Sitting next to me was a lady of Asian descent frantically signing in ASL to some schlub sitting across the way. Now it is a little known fact, and deaf persons will never tell you this, but deaf people are catty and ASL is FULL of hilarious gestures to cut others down to size. Being a tad misanthropic and a master chugger of haterade, I know ASL precisely for this reason (well that and it helped pass the time with this Taurus I was dating, yeesh) Anywho... I decide to just jump right in their conversation. Oh she was excited! She was even happier to know I could hear, and then started speaking. Turns out she is from Beijing and is here studying. Turns out my Mandarin is pretty spot on, and there is a whole district in Beijing for those of us who enjoy the passions of the cut sleeve. (yes I am easy to pick out even internationally). Then we started discussing Maoism, Communism and the evils of the free market. Comically here spoken English mastery failed but her ASL helped. Her chubby, strictly platonic, nebbish travel mate just glowered at me from across the aisle. Turns out torment hets is a guilty pleasure.

When I finally land in Roanoke, you would think I would be excited. I was until my plane was stuck on the tarmac. After an hour, I commented that it would have been nice if they had known we were coming somehow. As it turns out we landed in the middle of a Union Break.

My week at home was spent in glorious revelry with my peeps. We discussed health care reform, the oppression of people by organized religion, midgets, the holocaust. There was a mystery involving suicide/homicide, and cursing a relative to the grave. All the great things a family gathering ought to have.

Of course, I was feeling guilty because I missed people in Boise so much. But I called Wahooween and Divalish1 and Feithline and Steve and it eased the pain. Which worked out well, since the day I was to leave coincided with a Mercury retrograde...LIKE IT DOES.

Well, I got snowed in, rerouted, snowed in and bumped to 1st class. Traveling in 1st class is a head trip incidentally. The stewards, bless their hearts, all have Stockholm Syndrome. But I liberated some supplies to redistribute so I feel better.

The New Year
LORD KISS MY ASS 2009! Sadly I am not sure what to report from the New Year...I fisted myself to sleep...

The New Decade
Well, I went to a party at Doodleannie's and met some hilarious new peeps. Speaking of which: when a str8 guy likes another guy it is a man crush, and when a gay man likes a str8 man its a bromance, but what is it when a gay man has a crush on a str8 chick?

And now I am closing, cause there is a lot I want to discuss but it would not fit in the context.